Thursday, March 02, 2006

Little Miss Panic Attack

In my quest to become volunteer of the year at my elementary school, I worked my magic and scheduled UEA's Cat in the Hat to come for Dr. Seuss Night. While others were wearing silly costumes (Thing One and Thing Two looked GREAT) and sweating and working to make sure all 450 people in attendance were in the right place, having a good time, being read to by a celebrity and getting ice cream and a free bookmark, my entire job consisted of standing near a 7 1/2 foot tall cat. That's it. I was the Cat's escort (that sounds dirty, but it's not). My husband had a meeting, so I was also in charge of my three kids - Junior (4th grade), Trey (1st grade) and Little Miss (3 1/2). This was set to be the easiest night of my life -- put them in the activity room, have them get read to by a celebrity, and stand next to a cat.

So, the kiddos and I meet the adorable young lady who wears the costume as she is putting it on, and we have a nice conversation. Then we go out and wait for the cat to come out. While we are waiting, Little Miss is having a lovely chat with the mayor. "It's not really a giant cat. It is a girl in a costume. I was Cinderella for Halloween." She is one of his most trusted advisors.

Then, the fabulous Cat in the Hat makes it's appearance. It is amazing in it's gigantic, stripey-hatted splendor. We are all awestruck. Well, almost all of us are awestruck -- Little Miss sees the Cat, and in super-slow-mo shrieks in terror, runs to me, and has to be taken to the Vice Principal's office to calm down. Wails of terror are heard emanating from the VP office for 20 minutes. Junior is so embarrassed that he begs me to take him home. I spent the rest of the night making sure that Little Miss and the Cat were never in the same place at the same time. So, not only was I hindered in my ability to escort the cat, I'm pretty sure DCFS received a dozen calls from concerned parents. Probably not going to get that Volunteer of the Year award. Or Mother of the Year, either.

I better go upstairs and clean the toilets before DCFS shows up.

Wish me luck.


At 8:17 AM, Blogger Cat said...

That I would have paid money to see.


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