Colonoscopy - a song

click here for the tune

Colonoscopy, I had one last month.
A colonoscopy.
And the reason why I had one last month?
My family history.
I drank 'bowel prep,' I went to the doc,
Fell asleep. They prodded me.
And the result? It is good news.
My colon's polyp free.

Come on, Charlie...

We're going to Garbage Mountain, Charlie.

Click here for the real adventure of Charlie the Unicorn.

My sister

I have a sister. She is 10 years older than I am. When we were younger, we shared a bedroom. I was not a good roommate. I wrote mean things about her on the wallpaper (perfectly chosen to match Marcia Brady's wallpaper) with a permanent marker. I constantly unplugged her 8-track tape player when it was not in use because I thought the little green power light used too much energy. I insisted that my parents buy me an orange beanbag chair, and made the hideous beast of a beanbag the focal point of my side of the room. It was not a good situation, but she lovingly made the best of it.

Or, so I thought. Really, she was just biding her time.

And, then she got even.

In the fall of 1989, I was moving into the dorms at BYU (Helaman Halls). My sister was a mother of two children, living in Salt Lake City while her husband finished medical school at the University of Utah. She brought her little ones down to welcome me, and help me move in. One of my new neighbors in the dorms saw the beautiful, blond haired, big-eyed babies and asked (rather stupidly, I think), "Aw, cute! Who's kids are these?" My sister swiftly and convincingly replied, "They're Natalie's. I am raising them for her while she goes to college."

Fast forward almost 18 years. The older of those beautiful babies is now a BYU student himself, getting ready for his mission. And the younger of the two (here's a shout-out to Courtney, a new reader of the blog, and who in latin is a neptia fabulosus) will be entering the dorms in the fall. On scholarship, none the less.

Little Miss and I are already practicing. "Mommy, I'll miss you while you are in college. Don't do drugs."

Fun Times in Calculus Class

Comments on a previous post led to me reminiscing about my college days, a calculus class in particular. I got a C-. Barely.

When asked to name a most embarrassing moment, the final of that class comes to mind. It was in the testing center, and was multiple choice.

I scored 15%.

So, if I would have guessed, odds are that I would get 25%. By actually trying to do the problems, I did worse than if I would have guessed.

Life lesson: Calculus is something you cannot fake.

My future grandchildren...

Little Miss recently informed me that when she grows up and marries, she will have four children. Their names will be Bob, Rosie, Pinkie and Junior.

She pointed out that Pinkie is after the color, not the little finger.

Also, she said that she will pick the names for the older two, and that she would let her husband name the younger two. As long as he names them Pinkie and Junior.

I like the way she thinks.

Friday's Feast on Saturday

I told DaltonGirl (who doesn't capitalize her name, but I do. Sorry - that's pretty presumptuous of me) that I was going to post once a week. And, nothing exciting or funny has happened to me this week. So, I went to AlisonWonderland's blog, and saw this. I hope it's entertaining. It's probably not. Sorry

Friday's Feast

Appetizer
Name something you would not want to own.
I never want to own a video gaming system that hooks up to the TV. My boys have GameBoys and a Nintendo DS, but, so far we've avoided an X-Box or a PlayStation. I think when we move into our new house, we'll get a wii, but the kids already know they will only be able to play it Fridays and Saturdays.

Why am I so opposed? I don't like the noise. I think they are addictive. I think that in many cases, they promote anti-social behavior. And, I think there is a lot of trash out there that parents don't understand (like those games where players get extra points for beating up the prostitute so they don't have to pay her for her services.)

Soup
Describe your hair (texture, color, length, etc.).

Long. Thin. Natural Blond. Long layers. Bangs. Some days it looks great, but many days it's in a ponytail or a clip.

Salad
Finish this sentence: I’ll never forget ___________.

I actually have a really bad memory. I can't think of what I'll never forget. Prom? My wedding day? Baby Junior... Okay, that's it. The one memory I have that isn't enhanced by photographs is my first day home with Baby Junior. I was totally psychotic. My mom was on a mission, so my mother-in-law came to help. I had read that you couldn't give the baby a bottle or he wouldn't nurse, and my milk hadn't come in and the baby cried all night long. I was so worried that my husband or my MIL would give him a bottle of sugar-water, so I took the baby into the laundry room (we had a tiny basement apartment) and cried and sang primary songs to him while baby Junior screamed all night long. There is actually a moral of the story. Everything turned out okay. Things that seem like a big deal at the time - not so much of a big deal in hindsight.


Main Course
Which famous person would you like to be for one day? Why?

I am actually pretty happy being me. So, maybe I'd chose to be a more fabulous me. Like 20 pounds lighter with a great outfit and no stress. And, perfect hair. And not-crooked eyebrows. But, I think that might get boring. So, maybe one day would be enough.

Dessert
Write one sentence about yourself that includes one thing that is true and another thing that is not.

I never swear but I lie all the time. Actually, both of those things are half-truths. I have been known to swear (little ones) usually because it's funny or because I'm frustrated. And, I do lie, but only sometimes, and not the big ones. Let me try again...

I can't speak any foreign languages and I am bad at math.



So. There. That's all I've got for now.

Words to live by...

Occasionally in my role as a mother, I give my children instruction and guidance that I feel I should share. Then, as we incoroprate these pearls of wisdom into our lives, all of us can be enlightened and, hopefully, more successful in all areas of life.

Today was such a moment.

"Don't call your brother weiner-baby."

There. Go and do.