Thursday, September 21, 2006

Why I am not allowed to take Percoset

Here is the long awaited tale of woe.

Ten-and-a-half years ago, my Husband was in Law School. We were living in an expensive-but-nice basement apartment in Sugarhouse. We were also expecting our first child. Our friends were done with school, and had purchased a home. We had dibs on their inexpensive-but-nice apartment right off of Foothill Drive. We moved in two weeks before the baby was born.

Junior was a beautiful baby - he was chubby and rosey and loveable. For a while, I thought he had red hair - it turns out his head was just really red.

When he was a few days old, my family came to visit - it was also the first time they'd seen our new apartment. I was feeling well. My labor was pretty easy, and, except for a few stitches from an episiotomy, I wasn't that sore. (Attention TMI Police: If you are offended, I'm not that sorry. People have babies - it gets messy - get over it). My doctor had prescribed Percoset for the soreness.

My brother, Stuart, thought Junior was okay, but was really impressed by our new apartment. It had a big kitchen/dining room/living room with a mirrored wall. It was a walkout basement, and we had our own little backyard. And, it included a microwave oven. This wasn't just any microwave oven - it was ginormous - you could probably defrost a turkey in there. It must have been one of the first microwaves off of the assembly line. It was a classic. Stuart was amazed. "You could fit the baby in there!"

I replied, "Yes. I could. I will have to take this sleeper off first - it has metal buttons."

After that, it was decided that I should try ibuprofen to manage my discomfort, and that, in the best interest of all involved, the baby and I should be closely monitored for a while.

And THAT is why I am not allowed to take Percoset.


At 9:05 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

I don't know Natalie, if you can put an OJ can in the microwave without making sparks, I think a baby with metal buttons might do fine in there as well.

Aaron L.

At 5:51 AM, Blogger daltongirl said...

I say that kind of stuff without being drugged. And no one tells me I'm not allowed to breathe air. Possibly they talk about it behind my back.

Also, if you think using the word "episiotomy" is TMI, well, I just don't know what to say.


Post a Comment

<< Home