Let's Make DaltonGirl CRAZY!

I love to make DaltonGirl crazy by telling her what I eat. She pretends not to be riled up by my choices, but I think, deep down, she is. So, in the spirit of friendly competition, let's all post here after we eat somthing EXTRA un-healthful, like the time I went to Hires Big H and had a bacon cheese-burger, chili-cheese fries and a large Diet Coke. MMMMMmmmmmm. Or the fact that I just ate Panda Express with a 44 oz Mountain Dew (not diet) and then ate 9 mini-candy bars. Super YUM!!!

So, join in the fun. And please, no wagering.

Pulling me back in...

A year or so ago, I had an experience that changed me. I saw myself in a new light. I have always been outspoken. I usually don't shy away from supporting what I think is good, and I'm pretty much always ready for a fight. This makes me not so much fun at family gatherings (because, HELLO, my brothers are all psycho-Sean-Hannity-lovers). But two years ago, I read about Mayor Rocky Anderson holding a press conference/rally to protect open space on the bench above Salt Lake City. And I realized the open space he wanted to protect wasn't the last section of land by Ensign Peak that hadn't been developed yet, because, there isn't much left. What he wanted to protect was land owned by my little city, North Salt Lake. His attitude was to let the developers continue to destroy the hillside above Salt Lake City, because, hey, Utah is a right-to-build state, and it's pretty hard to tell developers 'no way.' But what he could do was take advantage of the little city to the North, and look like an environmentalist at the same time. Forget the fact that North Salt Lake has it's own Mayor, City Council and Planning Commission (of which I am a member). In his All-Knowing-Rockyness, he could tell us what we should do. So, I went to the press conference. My mayor and my friend Len were there. Then a bus pulled up, and a bunch of people got off. As they exited, they were each handed a sign made for them by the administration. Rocky turned to the cameras and looked like he had a ton of support. Of all the people at the press conference, only 4 of us had been to the land in question. Rocky had been there - my mayor took him. He then proceeded to declare a condemnation order on the land owned by NSL - all the while, people around him are holding signs that say "Protect Our Open-Space." I actually approched one and said that they weren't actually talking about their open space, they were talking about MY open space, and that we had a plan to protect it. Finally, I pulled a David Banner. I got mad. I took my friend's sign and stood next to Mayor Anderson. I heckled him during his speech. My friend Amanda called me to ask if I was there - she heard me on KSL. I waved my sign. I ended up on page B1 of the SLTrib. And I realized that I was right, but I wasn't a lady. Sure, for 15 minutes, I out-Rockied Rocky, but is that really something to be proud of? I felt like a MORON. And then I got over it. I was relieved when I discovered that other things came up first when my name is googled. And life continued to be sweet - Mayor Anderson even announced that he is not running for a third term.

So, this morning, my neighbor comes over and starts calling me a bully. He tells my husband not to make me mad (always good advice, but why now?). It seems that the photo editor at the SLTrib decided to reprint my picture for the end-of-the- road retrospective on Rocky. So, again, I am reminded that it is important to always be kind and respectful. The consequences are long lasting.

My Serious Side

I have a new blog that discusses education policy. It is creatively titled Education in Utah. I know, I'm good. I started it because one day, I was on the phone with DaltonGirl and I was all fired up! I couldn't stop talking about boring things - and thay all had to do with public education. So, it is my passion, and it is a little boring to other people, but feel free to check it out.

Little Miss Primary Song Composer

Little Miss, who turns 4 on Friday, has written a Primary song in celebration of our pioneer heritage. Today, she taught it to me, Elmo, her Cabbage Patch Kid and Teddy. This is it...

We wanna be a sunbean, a sunbean, a sunbean.
We wanna be a sunbean.
The people walked and walked and walked and walked.
The people walked and walked.
They got catched by a whale, a whale, a whale.
They got catched by a whale.
The whale spit them out.
They got catched by another whale, another whale, another whale
they got catched by another whale.
The whale didn't spit them out this time, didn't spit them out this time, didn't spit them out this time.
So they prayed and prayed and prayed and prayed.
They prayed and prayed and prayed.
Then the whale's babies spit them out this time, spit them out this time, spit them out this time.
They landed on the sand.
And that's how you be a family.
Please repeat.

I have two thoughts about this - first, Senator Bob Bennett's dad got his start writing Primary songs, and then he got to be a senator AND the dad of a senator. So, she's got quite a career ahead of her. Second - Primary sounds like, although it is doctrinally challenged, it is much more fun than Relief Society. But I could have guessed that.

In the last 5 days...

DaltonGirl has given me a wedgie (and I am NEVER forgiving her, no matter how many conference talks she quotes).

I may have accidentally forgotten to flush, causing an international incident.

I was not named Miss Congeniality. It wasn't even close. It may have been because of the whole flushing thing. Who can tell?

It was discovered and widely reported that I have a swearing problem, when really I didn't say anything you can't find in the Bible (well, that one swear is in the Bible, just not with dumb in front of it). And Miss Congeniality said the "S" word 18,000 times while telling her story about the accidental Ambien overdose. And she still gets to be Miss Congeniality AND I DON'T...AND IT'S NOT FAIR!

I found I can function well with only 2 hours of sleep (but my feelings are much more tender. So is my butt, but that is DaltonGirl's fault - 100%).

I found that when someone wants you to report on your goals, they really want you to report on what they think your goals should be.

I realized that I hate control freaks. Unless they're me. And there are two sides to every story, but I still think my side is right. So there.

I was a really good mom for 4 hours straight - a new record. And I learned that you should regularly tell your kids what you like about them. Because, really, who doesn't love THAT?

I realized that someone I thought was a mean grumpypants who hated me was a really wonderful person who likes me, a lot, and just has a grumpypants face. Which is unfortunate, but now I know the truth, and I feel bad for not loving her all this time - and yet, the ironicalistic* thing is that she still likes me.

I ate one ton of trail mix, and an entire pack of gum in one sitting.

I had at least one epiphany, but I've forgotten it. Darn that lack of sleep!

I found a website that says I am good looking, and discusses the possibility of me suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Neat, neat fun.

I was reminded that I have a great big beautiful group of friends - comrades at arms, really - that I love serving with. I am very lucky.

I was also reminded that my husband is a saint. I'm not kidding. I am very very lucky. (And he's hot, too).

I realized I love what I do, and I'm good at it. So, let's get it started!

When things get tough...

I like to remember that at least the monkeys love me.

The Real Faux Paw

This is a picture of then-Governor Leavitt with his office cat, the real Faux Paw. Apparently, Faux Paw has grown up, gotten animated and started teaching kids how to be safe on the internet. Good work, buddy!

Why I am no longer allowed in the bait shop

I think that is a pretty good title! What follows, however, is more boring trust lands stuff. I have promised a top ten (okay - top six) list of comments from my hate mail. I will not edit them, or even attempt to explain them, just know that I have the trout-loving community up in arms, and they have responded with class and style.

From Chris T.:
According to the Utah PTA then, the only value that we should teach our children is to do things for money and our own interests.

Do you know anything?

I am really surprised that you would write this response with out researching the facts other than just to “Kiss Up” to SITLA and the money that might go to the schools.

From Lonnie:
To think that is the Real concern, shows a lack of understand of the deeper issues here.

From John:
It would appear that you are no longer a true watch dog of SITLA for the children of Utah, and that instead you would prefer to be "one of the boys" with the SITLA board of directors.

I would hope that your PTA leadership could find a representative with a bit more backbone than you seem willing to display.


For the record, I have responded like a lady, politely pointing out that SITLA has a fiduciary responsibility to the trust and that the law requires them to put the fiscal needs of the school children first. I did tell John that no one has ever questioned my backbone before. After reading five paragraphs on the intricacies of the state code and the Utah Supreme Court's opinion on a similar case, he was probably convinced that I do, in fact, have enough backbone to try and bore him to death.

If I get any more fiery ones, I'll let you know.

Tooting My Own Horn

Hurry and look - the link's only good for 14 days!

Nat Gets Published

I know - normal people don't get too excited about trust lands, but still...kinda cool!

Take a Bite Outa Crime. Grrrr.

This picture of some of my friends with various first ladies of the great state of Utah and McGruff, the Crime Dog AND Faux Paw the Internet Safety Cat makes me happy. I'm not 100% sure why. But I saw it and wanted to share the joy. Chat amongst yourselves.

The Joy of Motherhood

Just now, I was sitting here writing a post about Little Miss and her gymnastics obsession. The kiddos are watching Dragon Tales (mean mom won't let them watch anything but PBS Kids during the week). We folded laundry Saturday night, but didn't actually put it away, so the kids decided to get dressed while they were watching TV. Except for Junior, who is going to try and trick me into letting him wear the clothes he put on after church yesterday and then slept in. So, Little Miss walks up to me, pulls down her pants and then says, "Look, mom! I'm wearing my crazy underwear today." I'm not quite sure what makes the red ones with the white design crazy, but I have decided that this is much better than the other post, any day, hands down (but pants up, please).