No Soliciting (except if it's really late at night and you're high on meth)

I posted this as a reponse to a fiery letter from Stupidramblings. But I thought it was interesting enough to be on my blog, too, so here is what happened to me yesterday. No trees were killed in the posting of this entry.

I have a lovely 'No Soliciting' sign made with a sharpie on a 3'x5' card - I usually have to make a new one when I see the evil solicitors soliciting evil in my neighborhood, because it embarasses my husband, and he sometimes takes it down and throws it away. But, yesterday, it was on, and still, at 9:57 PM, we get a knock on the door from a skanky girl totally strung out on meth trying to get us to buy carpet cleaning THAT NIGHT - because they're in our neighborhood and she needs more points to win the trip to Vegas, where she can hang out with other evil solicitors and do meth. So, I conveniently lie and say that we only have hardwoods, and she says her carpet cleaner cleans those, too, and she needs one more tonight, and I know she'e thinking about the meth, not the all purpose floor cleaning machine, so I'm starting to get worried that this is really a home invasion robbery, and all the kids are awake, peeking at the meth-addict solicitor skank, and finally we say "No, thanks," and close the door on her and then lock it. And the deadbolt, too, because you can never be too safe. And I hate her. And Jesus loves her and probably would have invited her in, and tried to get her off meth and help her find a real job where thay pay in cash, not a mixture of narcotics and points toward a trip to Vegas, but I just locked the door and fumed at the STUPIDITY. Then I calmed down, made some Lemon Zinger, and went to bed. One more reason I'm going to Hell, which will be populated with me and a lot of solicitors.