In the last 5 days...
DaltonGirl has given me a wedgie (and I am NEVER forgiving her, no matter how many conference talks she quotes).
I may have accidentally forgotten to flush, causing an international incident.
I was not named Miss Congeniality. It wasn't even close. It may have been because of the whole flushing thing. Who can tell?
It was discovered and widely reported that I have a swearing problem, when really I didn't say anything you can't find in the Bible (well, that one swear is in the Bible, just not with dumb in front of it). And Miss Congeniality said the "S" word 18,000 times while telling her story about the accidental Ambien overdose. And she still gets to be Miss Congeniality AND I DON'T...AND IT'S NOT FAIR!
I found I can function well with only 2 hours of sleep (but my feelings are much more tender. So is my butt, but that is DaltonGirl's fault - 100%).
I found that when someone wants you to report on your goals, they really want you to report on what they think your goals should be.
I realized that I hate control freaks. Unless they're me. And there are two sides to every story, but I still think my side is right. So there.
I was a really good mom for 4 hours straight - a new record. And I learned that you should regularly tell your kids what you like about them. Because, really, who doesn't love THAT?
I realized that someone I thought was a mean grumpypants who hated me was a really wonderful person who likes me, a lot, and just has a grumpypants face. Which is unfortunate, but now I know the truth, and I feel bad for not loving her all this time - and yet, the ironicalistic* thing is that she still likes me.
I ate one ton of trail mix, and an entire pack of gum in one sitting.
I had at least one epiphany, but I've forgotten it. Darn that lack of sleep!
I found a website that says I am good looking, and discusses the possibility of me suffering from Stockholm Syndrome. Neat, neat fun.
I was reminded that I have a great big beautiful group of friends - comrades at arms, really - that I love serving with. I am very lucky.
I was also reminded that my husband is a saint. I'm not kidding. I am very very lucky. (And he's hot, too).
I realized I love what I do, and I'm good at it. So, let's get it started!
posted by Natalie Gordon @ 1:36 PM
10 Comments:
One of the gentlemen who did not disagree with the obvious conclusion that you are, in fact, adorable (make sure you notice the double negative), may have offered you the scenario which could be the ultimate test of SITLA - it would become your Kobayashi Maru . . .
Hooters. Lease some trust land to a Hooters. I think that would be Kirk's solution. Saavik complains because she can't find the solution. Kirk gets a commendation.
So do you want to be an adorable Kirk that speaks well (without those annoying pauses during his speech for emphasis)?
Just out of curiosity, did your epiphany have anything to due with the trail mix and chewing gum? The memory of such a cataclysmic event may have been too much for you – thus the lapse of memory.
Oh – and a hint next time you spend tie with DaltonGirl. Pack your butt crack with lots of tissue. Wear her down. The mega-wedgie her!
my last paragraph should have read:
Oh – and a hint next time you spend time with DaltonGirl. Pack your butt crack with lots of tissue. Wear her down. Then mega-wedgie her!
What good is spel checker if it doesn't know what I meant to say?????
The Hooter's.... argument is.... although.... interesting.... completely.... invalid.
That's all the James T. Kirk I can do for now.
Back to Hooter's. If I lived across the street from land that was zoned for a Hooter's, then I couldn't be too surprised when they built a Hooter's across the street. Plus, can you imagine a Hooter's on the pristine Vance property. That WOULD be fun to see. But only for a minute.
Also, thank you for the wedgie advice. Power to the paper!
Nat, Nat, Nat - you are right about the great (but alas temporary) joy a Hooter's would be if located on the property of the Santified Brothers, but consider leasing Little Hole to Hooters!
I can't believe I am saying any of this publically!!!!!
In those same 5 days, I learned that I really, truly don't do well when I don't get enough sleep. Oh, wait! I already knew that - but now the rest of the people I was with know it too!
Al - we love you no matter what! As long as you still love US when you haven't had enough sleep, we're a-okay!
D-Rob (which would be a great name for a baseball player) - don't worry too much - it's not like a lot of people are reading it.
Stockholm Syndrome!!! Well. That explains everything. Here I just thought you were eating too many carbs. Clearly I'm not ready to receive my M.D. yet.
"That's all the James T. Kirk I can do for now."
Just remember that you need to pull your boots on after your... ummm... tryst with an attractive green/blue/purple alien of the opposite gender.
DaltonGirl told me that she dated a guy that didn't know the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek, so she broke up with him - good riddance, I say!
At work, we (the development team) had a project that we decided to code name "Tatooine". One of the guys in client services that we turned the project over to had no idea what "Tatooine" was and thought we had been saying "tatooing" all along. Obviously, he is not a Star Wars fan. He also told us he had been thinking some strange thoughts about our project. . . :)
We all had a good laugh. (Well, maybe you had to be there.)
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