Hey! Look at Me!!!

I just left a rude post on DaltonGirl's blog about how she needs to post something new, and then I realized that I haven't posted in a long time. I don't have anything very intelligent or funny to say, but I have made a list of funny things that have happened around here lately. It turns out they aren't that funny. My life is pretty boring. I apologize in advance.

Junior and I were talking about his strengths, and how they may differ from those of his brother, Trey. Junior says, "Trey is really good at math and running. I am really good at reading and scientology... Help me, Tom Cruise, use your witchcraft!" And, no, he hasn't seen Talladega Nights, just the preview.

We've been watching 'Fetch! With Ruff Ruffman' at our house. We love it. We only watch PBS on weekdays, and I actually don't get too many complaints. My kids cried when they found out that 'ZOOM' was cancelled. 'Fetch!' helps fill that void. I especially love 'Fetch!' because Ruff calls the kids "fetchers." Fetchers!

I was pretty sure I had West Nile Virus, but it turned out to just be a headache caused by trail mix withdrawal. I might need methadone to get through it.

Little Miss is getting bossier by the second. Yesterday, something fell out of the refridgerator after my husband had opened it. She said, "Daddy, you are responsible for that." Good vocabulary, though!

My new nickname for the charter school in my town, Legacy Poop, is really starting to catch on. DaltonGirl was there when I thought that one up! Hahaha! Almost as funny as 'Fetchers!'

Okay - that's all I got. Just know I'm trying to entertain. I'm not a slacker. I am doing the work.

The Single Life

My husband is currently on some thing called "High Adventure." There's no marijuana involved, as far as I know, but there are canoes (including our 17' Old Town Discovery - yeah, I'm bragging. Do you have canoe envy, yet?). So, I'm living the single life. La Vida Loca. I have a few observations.

Trail Mix is a food group. Yum.
That healthy eating thing? What? Oh, yeah. Out the window. Because a single mom with 3 kids needs a Coke sometimes. And lots of Trail Mix.
Being single was more fun BEFORE I had 3 kids.
Double Bed - a little too small when husband is home - way too big when he is gone.
My kids love Hot Pockets so much that I may never have to cook again.
Jodi Picoult is riveting. I read until after midnight.
I love the RedBox - I have a copy of She's The Man in my purse for later - Don't judge. I was a teenager once (okay, like in the '80s, but STILL) and at least I am not torturing my husband with it.
My house is cleaner than usual. I did 3 loads of laundry (including my sheets), two bathrooms, the dishes, and I'm going up to finish the kitchen floor before my PTA meeting this morning.
I've got pretty good kids.
So, basically, without my husband, I'm like a speed freak, never sleeping, reading really fast and cleaning things.
Life is better when he's here.

Enough is Enough!

In my attempts over the last 7 months of friendship to make DaltonGirl crazy, I have made myself chubby. This past week has been particularly bad. I am feeling barfy, tired and have a constant headache. Most of that is because of my family reunion, but some must be attributed to my unhealthful diet and lack of exercise - all in an attempt to make DG insaner (or is that 'more insane'?). I know the first step to recovery is to acknowledge the problem, but it is so much easier to blame it on DG. It actually has nothing to do with her. Butt, enough is enough. I am now joining a modified Oprah's BootCamp (modified, because HELLO - who wants to work out EIGHT TIMES A WEEK???) Here is my pledge:

1. I will consume 60 ounces of water daily
2. I will exercise aerobically at least 30 minutes a day, 4 days a week
3. I will exercise anaerobically 20 minutes a day twice a week
4. I will not eat after 7:30 PM
5. I will balance carbs with proteins, and avoid simple carbs
6. I will eat to provide nutrition to my body (including 2 servings of dairy a day, 5 servings of fruits and vegetables a day, and I will meet the daily recommendation of fiber). I will take a multi-vitamin
7. I will count Weight Watcher points, and allow 20 points daily with a weekly flex allowance of 35
8. I will not consume caffeine, because I really thought my heart was going to explode yesterday - and that is not fun

No, this blog isn't going to become all about THIS, but I'll give updates every two weeks. Please feel free to either join my bootcamp, or to make suggestions on healthful living. Just no using of the word Schwartzbein.